Walking on Walnut

GUSTO KO NG BABOLGAMMMMMMM!!!!!

2008-04-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

And I'm back from a lovely vacation in Manila.

My sister got married to her soul pal, I was able to spend precious moments with family and friends, I got to bond with baby girl Ain, I got to eat Shakey's garlic and cheese and Hawaiian style pizza and I was able to spend some quality time with my Dada (it was not enough, though). All those in three weeks.

Through it all, I missed Noel and I was raring to go home. I was looking forward to the long flight home. I wanted to just watch movies on the plane, read my book and peacefully drift off to sleep and wake up in SFO.

It was not to be.

Everything else happened but that.

I knew it the moment I heard her voice. She was small. Little. All of 7 summers maybe. But boy, she had a big voice. Imagine. A whiny seven year old little girl with a big voice. Ayayay! There was something about her that said: Meltdown.

And it happened. Minutes before take off.

She started looking for her bubblegum. Or, her BABOLGAM as she called it.

The plane started back up from the tarmac.

She started to dive into the inner crevices of her little bag.

Her whining got a bit more urgent.

The plane started to taxi.

And then...the beginning of a major mega tantrum. One that would put any misbehaving child to shame.

She started hitting her mom. Hitting the seat in front of her. Screaming at the top of her lungs. "Nasaan na yung babolgam ko!!!!" "Dito ko lang yon nilagayyyyy!!!!" "Waaaaahhhhh!!!!" "Waaahhhhh!!!!!!"

Oh my. The spawn of Satan was sitting beside me. No wonder some people refuse to have kids.

At this point, and I did not know that it was even possible but her mega tantrum revved up even more.

"Umaandar na yung eroplano!" "Baba tayo!!!!" "Ayoko!" "Ayoko!" "Ayokong pumuntang Amerikaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!"

Oh Lord.

And just in case you were wondering, she was not traveling alone. No. But it sure seemed as if she was. Her stupid excuse for a mother (I tell you, her mom was/is a waste of essential space in this vast universe) was doing nothing! Nothing to calm her down or even reprimand her!

Knowing fully well that her kid (possesed by the spirit of Chucky) was disrupting all of the hundreds of passengers on the flight, she just stared at the little girl. She did utter a few words like: "Ano ka ba, Bianca, nakakahiya ka naman." The devil has a name. Oh and she also played this stupid, stupid charade: "Ay alam ko na, baka nandito." Then she rummages through the little bag herself. "Ay, baka kaya nandito?" Looks into one of the pockets. "Ay hindi, parang nakita ko dito!"

God, save me.

Meantime, the Devil's child was screaming at the top of her lungs. Still hitting her mom. Still hitting the seat in front of her.

Meantime, the plane was about to take off.

By this time, the flight attendants were hovering above us.

As I looked behind me, one passenger was handing me his pillow... gesturing... telling me to end their misery and suffocate the little girl!

One passenger even offered his seat to me. So kind. I declined, of course. Then he said: Don't worry, she'll get tired soon and she'll go to sleep. To which I said: She better or I'll put her to sleep! I whispered, of course.

As this covert communication was happening between and among me and the other passengers, the flight attendants were clearly trying so hard to put their game face on to mask the irritation that's consuming them.

And I thought: Why don't you just get it over with and call security. Escort them off the plane!!!

But that was not to be.

Miraculously,just as the plane took off, Satan's spawn calmed down... and slept.

Was that the end of my ordeal?

As my good friend Gel would say: Newp.

She snored like a baby troll.

Bittersweet

2008-02-23T11:09:00.001-08:00

My Dearest Noel,

It's always bittersweet whenever I travel without you. I hate it when the person sitting next to me on the plane is not you. I love the thought though that in a matter of hours I will be in a very familiar place once again... 38-A Panay.

When I asked you the other night if you wanted anything from Manila, you said: Nothing. Just enjoy. I want you to have the best time ever with your friends and Chelou.

Great! That only means... more shopping money for me!

Please take care of yourself while I'm away. There's tons of food in the fridge for you. I have been cooking the past days so you won't be left without home cooked meals. There's lasagna, lechon paksiw, chicken adobo, beef with mushrooms and spicy spanish rice. All are labeled so you don't have to open the lids to figure out what you want to have. There's ice cream and dark chocolate caramel brownies, too.

Just remember to use serving spoons.

And if you're too tired to wash the dishes, there are paper plates in the pantry. Plastic cups, too.

If you can, please order salads to go so you can have them with your meals. I wanted to make some for you but they don't keep well. So please remember to eat your veggies.

I will see you virtually as soon as I get settled in... and live in a couple of weeks.

Love you toots,
Minh

Do What You Can. Act Because You Must.

2008-02-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

To protect Uber Baker, this article has been deleted.... save for the last two lines of my thoughts.

The foul stench from Malacanang has penetrated the four walls of UB's sweet smelling kitchen. And she is not having any of it.

Every single act of patriotism, big or small, is needed now more than ever. We must do what we can and act because we must.

Life is Like a Batch of Siopao Dough

2008-01-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

2007 was coming to a close.

We were moving apartments.

I wanted to mark my territory before we left 1055 Cresta Way to move into 135 Cresta Drive.

I couldn't leave the unit without making a batch of siopao. Since moving to the States, I've made siopao in every single apartment we've stayed at. And Apt 12 at Highlands should not be an exception.

So that's what I did.

With the asado filling cooling off, I went ahead and made the dough. Everything was just as it should be.

But then.

Things started to turn ugly.

Siopao dough, like any other dough you meet, is temperamental. It depends on a lot of things to be able to grow (and double in size - all cookbooks say this, right?). The temperature, altitude of where you're at, the kneading and careful handling, just to name a few. Oh and when you put in yeast that's already dead? That's the worst!

To continue: It was freezing outside and it was damp. The condition was perfect for a siopao meltdown.

And meltdown it was.

After two hours, I lifted the kitchen towel covering the bowl with the dough, looked serachingly... and I thought to myself: This is not good.

The dough was still flat! So with the theme song playing in my head, I went into Mcgyver Mode. If you lived through the 80's, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I took the bowl with the dough and put it on the window sill, hoping that it catches the waft of hot air coming out of the heater below the sill.

I left it there. For another two hours.

After two hours, I lifted the kitchen towel covering the bowl with the dough and once again looked searchingly... and I thought to myself: This is not good.

Again, the dough was still flat! So with the same theme song playing in my head, I went into Mcgyver Mode, again. If you lived through the 80's, you'd be screaming at me by now, saying: Go find the duct tape! Believe me, I thought about that, too, but in this instance I did not think any amount of duct tape could've helped.

What to do. What to do.

And then it came to me.

Quickly, I went to the kitchen. Got the biggest stock pot I had. Filled it up with hot water. Set the bowl with the dough on top of that. And left it for another two hours.

After two hours, I lifted the kitchen towel covering the bowl with the dough and once again looked searchingly... and I thought to myself: I'm good.

It worked! The dough had doubled in size!

No and I weren't able to eat the siopao til about 9 pm that night but guess what? It was the best ever batch I've ever made!

To conclude: I try to glean from anything that happens to me. And what I learned from this experience is that life is so much like a batch of siopao dough. Sometimes it does not turn out the way you want it to. Sometimes something just happens to it that's beyond your control. But one should never give up on it. You nurture it. You tend to it. You do whatever you can to save it and...make it come alive, again.

****
This is for my Toasters.

A Very Special Gift for Yammy

2007-12-28T13:13:00.000-08:00

December 25. Nighttime. Daytime in Manila.

Little big Tiny and Big little growing bigger Tami/Tammy were chatting...Madhatter Xioy went online. Soon and not a second too late... Amazing Rio, Awesome Lunalu, Tiny and Xioy (and Fab Taka putting in an appearance with her hair wrapped in a towel) were chatting like crazy... through a window on the web. How bizarre. And then Captain Xiapao showed himself rather quickly and off he went. He was there long enough to show his majestic profile... Tami/Tammy/Yami/Yammy was ecstatic! Even if Evil Ain was not there...

An excerpt torn out of the pages of a souped up A. in Wonderland? Nah. Just a great day in Highlands and the Kamuning Republic.

And it was not over.

The next day... "Gifts for Yammy" came in the mail...

Thank you, doggies. You are my life.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

While most of our friends have headed back home, No and I are celebrating our first Christmas here in California at a bed and breakfast in Sonoma. Christmas dinner will be at the Sonoma Meritage. We're sure it's going to be lovely, but it still won't be the same as celebrating it with our families.

During the holiday season, my family and I always look forward to a bowl of warm fabada with a hot roll. To make us feel as if we were home, I made fabada a couple of days ago. It looked and tasted like the real thing. The exception? The real thing goes down our mouths and into our stomachs in a matter of hours. Noel and I will be eating our fabada for the next six months, I think. I cooked a whole pot. For 16 people.

Merry Christmas, everyone! May you be blessed with everything that your heart desires.

Here's what we sent to our families:

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

What the... Ouch!

2007-12-22T10:23:00.000-08:00

After the HSG, I thought: Lord, please don't ever make me go through it again...

It's the most icky-uncomfy-cringing-focus-defying-stare-at-the-ceiling-then- close-your-eyes-tightly-and-breathe-'til-it's-over-procedure I've ever had. And I thought: I won't wish this on anyone, not even on my worst enemy...(unless the enemy is a boy. then that would make revenge even more sweeter. for where else would they poke the contrapments into?!)

But then came the saline sonogram...

Ugh, whatever dignity I had left promptly flew out the the window as soon as the clamp was taken out of the sterilized drawer.

The good thing about going through the saline sonogram is that it made me forget about the HSG.

I know, wait 'til I'm in labor, right?

Right.

Well, That's one painful experience I'm actually looking forward to.

Oh Deer

2007-12-16T19:07:00.001-08:00

Do you believe in signs? I do.

I grew up in an environment where there was freedom of belief. And in signs, we often did and still do.

For example. Moths were seen as a sign from loved ones departed, not to be harmed, rather their presence acknowledged. Mom says, the be-winged creatures were there to reassure us that we are being watched... and protected.

I have always prayed for signs to be given to me, sometimes they appear, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they do and I choose not to see.

But the last few days, they came and I saw them. Two at a time and then yesterday just one, but she was enough. Noel and I have been apartment hunting the past weeks. As it turned out, there was one unit in the same complex we're staying at that recently became available. I loved it from the moment I entered the door. It just made me happy. Then I saw why.

Within a few minutes, as we were sizing up the unit, they came around. Through the glass door, just a few feet from the fence that separated the lanai from the hill... two deer. Welcoming us. Instantly I knew, this was the one. Instantly, I knew, they were a sign.

But as I believe in signs, I also believe in coincidences. And in the human nature of justification. So the very next day, just to be sure, I prayed: Lord, give me a sign that we made the right decision. Show me a deer. Please give me a sign.

And there they were, again. As I was driving down the hill on my way to the grocery, I saw them on the hillside, grazing. Of course, I knew we made the right decision.

A few days later, I got sick. I was so weak and my bones hurt, but there was no fever. I just wanted to get well. I rested the whole night. Just focused on getting better.

The next morning, I got up. Went to the kitchen, still feeling woozy. And through the kitchen window, I saw a mama deer. Resting.

Me: No! Come here! There's a mama deer outside!

No: (Peers out the window and puts his arm around my shoulder) That means you're going to get better soon. (Plants a kiss on my forehead and walks away)

And I did.

***

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that we live right beside what is called "Deer Valley'". So we know they're out there. But they rarely show themselves. I guess I just wanted to up my chances in seeing the signs.

What the....

2007-12-11T12:26:00.000-08:00

We were on the road this morning as people were making the mad dash to their workplace. Translation: lots of cars on the road!

And so. As No was busy driving, I was preoccupied with my favorite past time: Observing. Translation: Watching other people and quietly judging them and making stories about them in my head. Hahaha!

Anyway, I noticed that most of the drivers had those hands-free sets glued to their ears and they were talking to someone (probably someone at the office, telling the person they're stuck in traffic; or it might be their au pair on the other line - for their last minute reminders about the kids; it might even be...their mistress or their younger man - telling them tonight might not be a good idea after all!). And I thought to myself... boy, do they look stupid!

Car after car they passed. All with stupid looking ear plugs! Some looked like it came from the set of The Terminator while others were more like regular earphones but still it made the drivers look like they had a strand of uber long hair growing out of their ears! Blech!

And then I heard it: "Hello, Shirley. I just have a couple of questions...."

It was Noel. What the.... He had one of the ear plugs on, too!

Here's the killer... While some of you might already be thinking of your similar experiences with these awful devices... Mom is thinking: "So, who's Shirley? Oh, and what were Noel's questions?"

End of story.

Two more....

2007-12-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

Recent conversations with friends made me remember two more names...

Mina. The prequel to Minx. People i grew up with call me this.

Chelou. Only one person in the whole planet Earth calls me by this name. And I call her Chelou, too. The inspiration for this alternative: A little known brand of make up foundation that has the BEST sheer coverage ever!

Hi, my name is....

2007-12-06T14:04:00.001-08:00

I think it was in fifth grade when Mrs. Salvador taught my class about pseudonyms. I found it intriguing that some people had alternative names. The idea exuded a certain air of adventure. Having more than one name also meant having more than one side to a person. And to me, it seemed like a romantic notion that a person can be known by a name other than his own. I guess it was this romanticism that led me to unwittingly collect my very own pseudonyms through the years.

Anna Karmina Balderrama Constantino. I was baptized with this name. I'm not too sure about where the "Anna" came from but I do know that "Karmina" was chosen so they could call me "Minh" (this, we'll get to later on). Obviously, "Balderrrama" came from Mom - Lourdes Alampay Balderrama - daughter of Angelina Alampay and Alfredo Balderrama. "Constantino" from Pop - son of Letizia Roxas and Renato Constantino.

Karmina. This is me. My real name. The first name that comes to mind when you think of me. That is, of course, depending on which period in my life you've met me. The name from which all others will come from.

Minh. My family's name for me. The root name of "Karmina". Before Ho Chi Minh came to be known as city in Vietnam, the name was a revolutionary. He led the Viet Minh independence movement from 1941 onward, establishing the communist-governed Democratic Republic of Vietnam in 1945 and defeating the French Union 9 years later. Ho then led the North Vietnamese in the Vietnam War until his death; six years after, the war ended with a North Vietnamese victory, and Vietnamese unification followed. The former capital of South Vietnam, Saigon, was renamed Ho Chi Minh City in his honor. And in his honor, too, I was named after him.

Minx. Ah, the name marked by the 80's, when everyone wanted an "x' or "z" in their names. I thought it was hip (translation many years later: baduy). Apparently, my friends thought it was cool, too. Cool enough to be my high school nick. Only a handful call me this name now. And I must say, those who do are my friends for life.

Ina. Bet you didn't know about this one. Well, I was a freshman in UP and I met these two girls - Erika and Michelle. We decided we'll be friends. We also decided to change our names. We figured, what a way to start college, right? Completely not be ourselves! Hahaha. Anyway, so Michelle became Mitch (yes, I know, how original) Erika became Ricky... And I became Ina. And that was that. The whole charade lasted for about a year, I think, and as soon as it ended, I lost touch with Erika and Michelle.

Tami/Yammi. The most special of all. Because this name is not so much about me as it is about the special little people who call me "Tami/Yammi". Before my first ever niece, Ia, was born, I prevailed upon my siblings to conduct an experiment. I said: Whoever said it has to be "Tito" or "Tita"? Let's change our names! I guess I was still reeling from the loss of "Ina" that I needed another name to take her place. And so we did. Maoi became Tama (short for Tita Maoi), Ninel became Tiny (short for Tita Niney), Taka for Kala (you get the drift...), I became Tami (TiTA MInh), and Red became Xioy (because he liked the sound of it). "Yammi" came about a few years later when my nephew Rio was born. I had an early morning show then and that meant starting my day way too early and ending it at about noon. My Big Bro and Taka were off at work and they always left Rio with us. And so, I became his companion (translation: Yaya). Thus the alternative to Tami - Yammi.

Karmina Constantino. The professional name. The screen name. I use it in intros and extros. It's the name I WANT to use when I meet a person for the first time. That is why if the new acquaintance is being introduced to me by someone who knows me by another pseudonym, then that can lead to a very awkward moment for me. Because I really don't want other people to know that I am Yami or Minh or KC (we'll get to this in a bit) right away. So I guess you can call KARMINA CONSTANTINO as my buffer name. It's the name I use to keep new "friends" at bay until I'm ready to let them in.
.
KC. The year was 1996. While I was a newbie in the broadcast industry, my Pop, RC, was wrapping up (or so he thought) his career as a political activist. He was always in the news (fast forward to GMA's illegitimate reign - RC is now back in business because of the little woman's brazen disregard of the people's rights and intelligence). So it started out as a joke: "Si KC na anak ni RC." And then it stuck because eventually my colleagues just found my name too long. So from three syllables, they chopped it down to two: K. C.

Kayce. Because, believe it or not, some find that two syllables were still one syllable too many.

Karmina Constantino-Torres. January 3, 2006. I married Noel Torres and officially became Mrs. Karmina Constantino-Torres. Officially, yes. Legally, not so much. See, I still sign official documents with "KARMINA CONSTANTINO". My passport still carries that name, my license, too. My bank accounts are still under my buffer name. I just find that changing my name in all these documents would prove to be too much of a hassle. Good thing No agrees. So for all intents and purposes, this has been me since January of '06.

KC Torres. Sounds like a different person, doesn't it? I am still getting used to it and I think you are, too. New found friends in Philadelphia (where we stayed for a year and a half after getting hitched) knows me by this name and this name alone. I find refuge in this name. It served/serves me well after "disappearing" when I decided to leave Manila. This one is my "escape" name. It allows me to be me... without the expectations from my on screen persona.

Anna Torres. Nothing can be farther from the truth. This is entirely my creation. I figured, since I go by so many names, why not add one more. And off I played. So one day, after dropping some clothes off at the cleaners, I was asked by Anar (the shop's owner) what my name was so she can fill out the receipt. And so I said: Anna Torres. And so she wrote: Anna Torres. That same day, I told No all about it. He laughed at the story and shook his head saying: You're silly.

I am. And I love it.

So, I want to know... who am I to you? And why?

Happy Anniversary!

2007-11-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

My Lolo Ding has passed on. This, however, has not stopped my Dada from celebrating their wonderful marriage every single year. Here's a snapshot of the them... in their younger days... during the beginning of a partnership that inspired countless lives and continues to touch many more.

I sent this e-card to her this morning. No, she's not a tech-ie at all (she does not even know how to operate a microwave!). She has her secretaries who do all the downloading for her. And by the way, this Smilebox? Love it! Go ahead, click PLAY.

Make a slide show, scrapbook or ecard

Written at the back of this photo:

21 Dec 2005

For Karmina,

A precious remembrance of your "young" grandparents. Photo taken in a Paris nightclub on our 5th wedding anniversary - Nov. 21, 1948.

Dada M.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-19T09:19:00.001-08:00

It's a big deal here in the States. Thanksgiving is. Apparently, after a harsh winter in 1621, the Plymouth Colony reaped a bountiful harvest. The governor then, Willliam Bradford, promptly declared a day of thanksgiving. The colonists invited the local Wampanoag Indians and thanked the heavens by having a traditional harvest spread. Historians, to this day, are still not able to put the original menu down but most of them seem to be in aggreement that the feast may have consisted of roasted venison, stewed or boiled fowl, lobster and fish, corn and wheat breads, stew of dried fruits and perhaps pumpkin, one or two boiled vegetables and only water to drink.

Since then, Thanksiving Day has been celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November.

Since then, giving thanks has not been exclusive to being thankful for abundant crops. It's now synonymous to showing appreciation to troops (who continue to fight in unfounded wars), the mailman, your pet, the heater, sunshines and downpours, financial abundance, a roof over one's head, friends and family and anything that makes one breathe easier.

So, to the one who says my prayers for me, to you - who shields me from my pains and fears, for making me laugh every single day, for holding my hand... Thank you.

The Guy Has Talent

2007-11-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

So the office needed some pics for their pitch package... and I didn't have any on me. JohnD says any pic will do, as long as it's recent. What a dilemma. Ah! But the husband proved to be quite the saviour. Check it out, the guy has talent!

It Wasn't That Bad

2007-11-13T08:56:00.000-08:00

8:56 am. I just came back from the hospital. The first of the many vials was drawn... and it wasn't that bad.

Coolness.

So, all's good except that I killed a spider last night using my hairspray.

Buddha forgive me.

Here We Go (again)

2007-10-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't told a lot of people about what I have been going through the past months. It's one of those things that I would rather keep to myself. The treatments have made me feel raw and vulnerable. I figured, telling people would make me even more fragile because it would be tantamount to putting myself out there. For all to see. Yet I was not sure if all would feel for me and be with me. I was wrong.

As I began telling my family and close friends about it, I found that there's so much love and support. That as Noel and I continue to take this challenge head on, we will never be alone.

So here I am, a day after our first doctor's appointment since leaving the East Coast. I must confess, I broke down a couple of times yesterday. I was stressed out by the thought of all the poking and probing that's going to be done to me again. The vials of blood that they're going to draw out from me again. The numerous injections and meds that I have to take in... again. Sure enough, I was welcomed back into program by the first of the many pokes and probes. Noel held my hand all throughout.

Dr. Rinaudo was very optimistic. He said we have time. He said he sees no problem. To be sure, he also told us to expect failure but that we have to be strong emotionally. I'm all for that. I'm a big girl. Except that there was something else he mentioned that's been bugging me. A possible surgery.

Now, that's new.

History of Love

2007-10-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

A few months back, my big bro and I were having one of our chat sessions. We got around to talking about the books that we were currently reading. He just put down Nicole Krauss' History of Love and he was telling me that he was blown away by it. I couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

And so, after turning the last page of Isabel Allende's Daughter of Fortune, I flipped the first page of History... and so began my journey.

It was humourous, happy and sad all at the same time. I felt vulnerable yet secure while I was reading it. Krauss wrote seamlessly as she took you into Leo's world while making you realize your place in your own.

History also reminded me of the people around me, and their place in my book.

Like this one:

From then on, I was terrified that I or one of my parents were going to die. My mother worried me the most. She was the force around which our world turned. Unlike our father, who spent his life in the clouds, my mother propelled through the universe by the brute force of reason. She was the judge in all of our arguments. One disapproving word from her was enough to send us off to hide in a corner, where we would cry and fantasize our own martyrdom. And yet. One kiss would restore us to princedom. Without her, our lives would dissolve into chaos.

Enough said. I'm about to cry.

Chapter 2

2007-10-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

I was thinking, now that I'm back to blogging, should I create an entire blog again just because I'm no longer walking on Walnut?

Should I treat this site as a try at blogging, completely forget about it and let it get eaten up by the www?

And then it came to me. No.

Why should I?

To hike in Highlands (of Marin) doesn't mean I should forget about ever walking on Walnut.

Although I am thankful that I have red head hawks and humming birds, deer and wild turkey as company now when I look out my window, and though I love it that I can explore the shops and restaurants in downtown San Rafael without fearing for my safety, I will forever remember the charming (sometimes filthy and always dangerous) streets of Philadelphia, the cherry blossoms that by now have shed their blooms and, of course, all those whom we met along the way....those who helped make Philly a wonderful first home.

So here I am, Chapter 2. Hike with me.

Hiking in Highlands

2007-10-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm no longer walking on Walnut. I haven't been since June of this year. Since Noel graduated last May, we stayed in Delaware for a while, vacationed in South Jersey for a few weeks, then moved to California last August!

I'm no longer exploring the streets of Philadelphia (God knows I have had enough of that. Especially after the mugging). I am now joyfully soaking up the breathtaking views of the mountains and valleys of beautiful San Rafael... from our living room! I must show you where we live but I haven't had the chance to capture images of our new home. I will post these pictures as soon as get my act together.

So, a lot has happened since my last posting. Noel is now an investment banker while I will be joining TFC soon. We fought hard to be where we're at now. And we know there's more to come. Still, I would like to thank our friends and family for the continued support and prayers. We couldn't have done it without you -- Mom and Pop, Tama, Xioy, Taka, Tiny, the Bruschettas, Xioapao and our Baby Girl Ain, Mommy and Daddy, Tito Babe and Tita Eva, Tito Enteng and Tita Letty, Dada... Our lives are all the more blessed because we have you on our side.

So while I get my thoughts organized... have some of this. A bowl of french onion soup and mixed greens...

A Good Read

2007-06-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

I have been experiencing a scarcity of good news lately. There haven't been any deluge of bad ones either. But since I am one creature who thrives in the joy of giving and receiving good news, I have been feeling uninspired to blog. Until now.

I have just finished reading the last page of Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife. What an amazing book. I loved every word written on every page. I never wanted it to end. I savoured every sentence, every chapter that I purposefully read it ever so slowly.

It's about a man who is chrono impaired. As a result, he floats through time and space but always falls back into the arms of his one true love. She has known him almost all her life, but he only met her when he was in his 20's when she was 5 years old. Their love story is a seamless one that takes them to their past and future while in their present. They part ways always knowing that they will see each other again.

With Niffenegger's style of storytelling, I felt as if I was there with Henry and Clare.

As if I, too, were chrono impaired and was a silent

observer as the two experienced life... and death, over and over again.

If you believe in love and in life, if you believe that time can be transcended, then you MUST

read this book.

That Familiar Smell

2007-04-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

As I walked up the steps to our apartment, I noticed a familiar smell. The last time I encountered it was last summer when I had to go home ahead of Noel. It's the smell of an empty apartment.

Noel left this afternoon for SF. He'll be back next week.

I've always been amazed at the oneness that envelopes my parents. Two beautiful individuals that fit perfectly to complete a puzzle. I saw that in my grandparents, too. I'm also seeing it with my bro and my sis-in-;aw. And now, I'm experiencing the same thing. I love it.

Between now and last summer, we've grown together and on each other.

I love it that I have grown accustomed to sleeping beside him and waking up next to him each and every morning. I love it that even if we have our alone time, I can sense him in the next room, steadily typing away on his laptop. I love it that while I'm in the kitchen, I'll just here a: "Soot?" (that's what we call each other) and I say: "Yes?" and he'll say: "How are you?" and then I'll say: "Ok!" And I absolutely love it that he knows what's on my mind. That sometimes, he says what I'm just about to utter.

And this is precisely why I miss him now.

I know, I know. Give it ten to twenty more years and I'd welcome every moment I spend without him. Maybe. Maybe not. But I miss him now and I hope I can sleep soundly tonight. As peaceful as I do when I'm beside him.

Of Wicked Witches and Secret Suppers (and not so empty minds, after all)

2007-04-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

My Big Bro and I recently talked about having empty minds. We seemed to have encountered a creative slump at the same time. Although it is a welcome respite from a seemingly endless cycle of thinking, thinking and thinking (which we enjoy especially since even if we don't want to, our minds just go on and on and on. I wonder what our brains look like as we think of the alternate life of an avocado. See? What did I tell you?), it can also cause quite a panic since we're used to our minds just thinking and thinking and thinking.

I think I'll be out of the slump by next week. Maybe it has something to do with the thawing temperatures here. Meantime, conversely, I hope it will be cooler in the Kamuning Republic as I think his has to do with the scorching weather there.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share with you my email to him:

Hi Xioy,

I hope yours is no longer an empty mind. Mine? Well, getting there. I still haven't garnered enough energy to conquer the slump but I feel next week is going to be different.

I just got back however from the interesting journey I went on while reading Wicked. If you can get your hands on a copy, you should. It's the most creative piece I have read so far and it leaves you having a very different opinion of the land of Oz.

My body may be stagnant but my excuse is that at least my mind isn't by virtue of my readings. I am now on the tenth chapter of The Secret Supper by Javier Sierra, set in the 1400's, it's about Da Vinci and his hidden codes in the master piece.

When I work I don't get to read, when I read, I don't get to work.

Must find a balance.

But until then, I am happily content.

I dread next week when I have to force myself to work again. Hahaha

Abueno,
Yami

The Sound of Music

2007-04-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago, while surfing the channels on TV, I chanced upon my favorite movie of all time: The Sound of Music. I watched as if it was the first time I had laid my eyes on the Von Trapp family, I sang with Maria and the children songs that filled my own childhood and wept when Christoper Plummer strained to sing the last notes of Edelweiss.

For some, The Sound of Music is just one of those classics. Fun to watch. Nice songs. Cute kids. Lovely costumes.

But for me, The Sound of Music continues to be one of my favorite things because it's about the two things that I hold dear to my heart: family and country.

Memorable quotes forThe Sound of Music (1965)

Max: How many have I had?

Maid: Two.

Max: Make it an uneven three.

Captain von Trapp: Fraulein, is it to be at every meal, or merely at dinnertime, that you intend on leading us all through this rare and wonderful new world of... indigestion?

Max: He's got to at least *pretend* to work with these people. You must convince him. Maria: I can't ask him to be less than he is.

The Baroness: Somewhere out there is a lady who I think will never be a nun. Auf Wiedersehen, darling.

Captain von Trapp: It's the dress. You'll have to put on another one before you meet the children.

Maria: But I don't have another one. When we entered the abbey our worldly clothes were given to the poor.

Captain von Trapp: What about this one?

Maria: The poor didn't want this one.

Mother Abbess: Maria, these walls were not meant to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.

Kurt: I wonder what grass tastes like.

Max: I hope you appreciate the sacrifice I'm making.

Captain von Trapp: You have no choice.

Max: I know... That's why I'm making it.

Captain von Trapp: Oh, there's nothing wrong with the children. Only the governesses.

Captain von Trapp: You brought music back into the house. I had forgotten.

Captain von Trapp: I don't care to hear anything further from you about my children.

Maria: I am not finished yet!

Captain von Trapp: Oh, yes, you are, Captain! [pauses]

Captain von Trapp: Fraulein.

Maria: I can't seem to stop singing wherever I am. And what's worse, I can't seem to stop saying things - anything and everything I think and feel.

Mother Abbess: Some people would call that honesty.

Maria: Oh, but it's terrible, Reverend Mother.
Sister Margaretta: After all, the wool from the black sheep is just as warm.

Captain von Trapp: The first rule of this household is discipline.

Frau Schmidt: The Von Trapp children don't play. They march.

Herr Zeller: Perhaps those who would warn you that the Anschluss is coming - and it is coming, Captain - perhaps they would get further with you by setting their words to music.

Captain von Trapp: If the Nazis take over Austria, I have no doubt, Herr Zeller, that you will be the entire trumpet section.

Herr Zeller: You flatter me, Captain.

Captain von Trapp: Oh, how clumsy of me - I meant to accuse you.

Herr Zeller: I've not asked you where you and your family are going. Nor have you asked me why I am here.

Captain von Trapp: Well, apparently, we're both suffering from a deplorable lack of curiosity.

The Baroness: Why didn't you tell me?

Max: What?

The Baroness: To bring along my harmonica.

Kurt: Only grown-up men are scared of women.

Maria: Kurt, how are you?

Kurt: Hungry.

Max: The Von Trapp Family Singers. Here your names: Leisl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta, Kurt, Marta and Gretl.

Gretl: Why am I always last?

Max: Because you are the most important.

Maria: Where the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.

Max: What's going to happen's going to happen. Just make sure it doesn't happen to you. Captain von Trapp: Max. Don't you *ever* say that again.

Max: You know I have no political convictions. Can I help it if other people do?

Captain von Trapp: Oh yes, you can help it. You must help it.

Captain von Trapp: You are the twelfth in a long line of governesses who have come here to look after my children since their mother died. I trust you will be an improvement on the last one. She stayed only two hours.

Maria: There were times when we would look at each other, oh Mother I could hardly breathe.

Maria: Gretl, what happened to your finger?

Gretl: It got caught.

Maria: Caught in what?

Gretl: Friedrich's teeth.

Captain von Trapp: Now, when I want you, this is what you will hear. [Blows whistle]

Maria: Oh, no, sir, I'm sorry, sir. I could never answer to a whistle. Whistles are for dogs and cats and other animals, but not for children and definitely not for me. It would be too... humiliating.

Captain von Trapp: Fraulein, were you this much trouble at the Abbey?

Maria: Oh, much more, sir.

Captain von Trapp: Hmm. [Starts to leave the room when Maria blows the whistle. He looks back at her]

Maria: Excuse me, sir, I don't know your signal.

Maria: I don't understand.

Captain von Trapp: Well, we called off our engagement, you see, and...

Maria: Oh, I'm sorry.

Captain von Trapp: Yes. You are?

Maria: Mm-hmm. You did?

Captain von Trapp: Yes. Well, you can't marry someone when you're in love with someone else... can you?

The Baroness: There's nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who's in love with him.

The Baroness: Darling, haven't you ever heard of a delightful little thing called boarding school?

Captain von Trapp: Fraulein Maria, did I or did I not say that bedtime is to be strictly observed in this household?

Maria: Yes, well the children were scared of the thunderstorm and... You did, sir.

Captain von Trapp: And do you or do you not have trouble following these simple instructions? Maria: Only during thunderstorms.

Gretl: It'll be my first party, father.

Maria: [singing] Silver white winters that melt into springs, these are a few of my favorite things
Marta: The least they could have done is to let us say hello.

Captain von Trapp: [after pulling the gun from Rolfe] You'll never be one of them.

Rolfe: Lieutenant! Lieutenant, they're here! They're here, Lieutenant! [blows whistle]

Liesl: How else are we supposed to get Father's attention?

Brigitta: Yes.

Maria: Well, we'll have to think about that one.

The Baroness: You're far away. Where are you?

Captain von Trapp: In a world that's disappearing, I'm afraid.

[talking about pink lemonade] The Baroness: Not too sweet, not too sour. Max: Just too? uh . . pink.

Liesl: I'm Liesl. I'm sixteen years old and I don't need a governess.

Marta: Why don't we ever get to see the baroness?

Kurt: Why would she want to see you?

Marta: Can we really keep the puppet show Uncle Max?

Max: Of course. Why else do you think I sent the bill to your father?

Max: Hold on. What's so funny?

Captain von Trapp: You are, Max. Expensive, but very funny.

Max: Friedrich, Gretl, why don't you sing?

Gretl: I can't, I've got a sore finger.

Max: I like rich people. I like the way they live, and I like the way I live when I'm with them.

Maria: You know how Sister Berthe always makes me kiss the floor after we've had a disagreement? Well, lately I've taken to kissing the floor whenever I see her coming, just to save time.

[last lines] Sister Margaretta: Reverend Mother, I have sinned.

Sister Berthe: I, too, Reverend Mother.

Mother Abbess: What is this sin, my children? [the nuns look at each other, then reveal from under their robes the distributor and coil they have removed from the Germans' cars]

Kurt: I haven't had so much fun since the day we put glue on Fräulein Josephine's toothbrush.

Maria: Why didn't you children tell me you could dance?

Kurt: We were afraid you'd make us all dance together. The von Trapp Family dancers. [spins]

Liesl: [singing with the children at the Villa] So long, farewell, au revoir, auf Wiedersehen! I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne. Yes?

Captain von Trapp: No!

[singing starts somewhere inside] Captain von Trapp: What's that?

Maria: It's singing.

Captain von Trapp: Yes, I realize it's singing, but who?

Maria: The children.

Captain von Trapp: The children?

Maria: I taught them something to sing for the Baroness.

Maria: [the captain begins to walk away, and Maria blows her whistle. The captain turns around] Sorry Sir, I don't know your call.

Marta: I'm Marta, and I'm going to be seven on Tuesday, and I'd like a pink parasol.

Maria: Well. pink's my favorite color, too.

Louisa von Trapp: I'm Brigitta.

Maria: You didn't tell me how old you are, Louisa.

Brigitta: I'm Brigitta, she's Louisa. She's thirteen years old, and your smart! I'm ten, and I think your dress is the ugliest one I ever saw!

[Maria finds a frog in her pocket] Frau Schmidt: You're lucky. With Fraulein Helga, it was a snake!

Captain von Trapp: Now, Fraulein. I want a truthful answer from you.

Maria: Yes, Captain?

Captain von Trapp: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my children by any chance been climbing trees today?

Maria: Yes, Captain.

Captain von Trapp: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...

Maria: Play clothes.

Captain von Trapp: Oh, is that what you call them?

Maria: I made them. From the drapes that used to hang in my bedroom.

Captain von Trapp: Drapes?

Maria: They still have plenty of wear left. The children have been everywhere in them.

Captain von Trapp: Do you mean to tell me that my children have been roaming about Salzburg dressed up in nothing but some old drapes?

Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a marvelous time!

Friedrich von Trapp: I'm Friedrich. I'm fourteen. I'm impossible!

Maria: [laughing] Really? Who told you that, Friedrich?

Friedrich von Trapp: Fraulein Josephine, four governesses ago.

Max: I shall miss you. I shall miss the money I could have made with you!

Captain von Trapp: My fellow Austrians, I shall not be seeing you again perhaps for a very long time. I would like to sing for you now... a love song. I know you share this love. I pray that you will never let it die.

It's Been a While

2007-04-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a a while since my last post. I've been quite busy with work and... play. Last month, Noel and I took a trip to the West Coast to see some old friends. Cooper, my bestfriend, and I have not see each other for about 6 years! It was awesome seeing him again..... I totally enjoyed being Ninang to Gabby and Rafael, even just for a while. Maybe we can go and visit them again. And stay longer. That trip was just too short.

I've also been busy going back to reading again. Somehow, vacations always reinvigorate my love for reading. Right now, I'm going through the last few pages of "The General and his Labyrinth," by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. A heart rending, inspiring and thought provoking account of the last days of General Simon Bolivar - The Liberator. I think next on my list is "Wicked" and another one on Kabbalah and love, I think.

Here are some snapshots of how life has been since my last entry. Enjoy.

Birthday Blues and Reds and All The Colors of the Rainbow

2007-02-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

So, in less than twenty-fours, I will turn another summer older. There were some winters along the way but I must say, this is exactly where I want to be. As a child, I've always pictured a life that's ideal for me. And I can't believe I'm living it as I write. Of course, I never thought I'd be far from my loved ones. Of course, I never thought I'd leave home. But see, that's the point. I never ventured out of my comfort zone and now that I have, I'm all better for doing so. And so yes, I am far from my loved ones. Yes, I am not home. But I am with Noel, the love of my life. And we live in the special little space we've created for ourselves. It's still not quite home but when I'm with him, I feel as if I am. I cannot ask for anything more. Well... not quite; maybe a baby. No, not maybe. A baby... or two... or three!

And so, I'm counting hours til my birthday yet greetings have already started to pour in. Thank you to everyone who remembered. Two little people made this year's celebration all the more special by spelling my name in a very different way. Please take a moment to look at their birthday gift at http://www.redconstantino.blogspot.com.

In the meantime, here's to a wonderful 32nd! Here's to birthday blues and reds and all the colors of the rainbow!

Happy New Year!

2007-01-17T17:40:00.000-08:00

It was our first New Year's away from home. But even without our families, sans the traditional fabada, jamon and queso, Noel and I had a grand time ushering in 2007. After having a delectable feast of authentic Italian dishes at La Toscana, we trooped to Penn's Landing where, together with our friends Tony, Trish, Dot and Karina, we watched the fireworks display. Thousands of multi-colored sparks lit up the dark sky, and there we were... looking up, full of hope for only the better things this year and always.

Images that Inspire

2006-12-31T08:53:00.000-08:00

On my last visit to Manila, my Dada Mom2 played the piano just for me.

She's all of 86- summers old and she pounded on those keys as well as any pianist would. Never missing a single note.

Alone with just her and her music filling the night... an image that will never leave the confines of my heart.

And then there are the young ones. Bruschettas is what I call them. The offsprings of the Toasters.

They're just full of imagination, questions, laughter and antics that make old fogies like me youthful when I am around them.

Their energy is boundless, their joys innocent.

They may have certain fears but mostly it's all about the icky stuff and not the complicated concerns that consume adults.

Maybe I should just put them all in a box and ship 'em to Walnut, eh? What do you think?

Do you think the little ones would mind if an Egyptian with an attitude problem comes along?

Yeah, and she's a 6-footer, too!

2006-12-31T08:28:00.000-08:00

From ABS-CBNNews.com:
'President Arroyo did not know of Smith's transfer'
Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita Sunday said President Arroyo has nothing to do with the abrupt transfer of convicted rapist Lance Corporal Daniel Smith to the US Embassy, ABS-CBN News reported.
Ermita said Mrs. Arroyo, who is at present in Baguio City with the Presidential Family, left the matter to the National Security Council.
He added that the council did not even inform Mrs. Arroyo its final decision to transfer Smith to US custody.
Ermita, however, admitted that Smith’s transfer will result in better RP-US relations.

Some points to ponder:
1.) That's what she claims. She had nothing to do with it... BS! But let's pretend, for the sake of argument, that she really didn't know anything about it. Mrs. Arroyo, if you had known, what would you have done?
2.) Ermita says, the transfer will result in better RP-US relations. How so, Mrs. Arroyo? Do you agree with Ermita on this?
3.) Mrs. Arroyo, don't you think that this is tantamount to washing your hands off on this one? Ah yes, I forget, you've had enough practice. Proof of this is Garci running for public office. What a joke!
4.) How can you, as the president of a republic, just leave such an important matter to the National Security Council and the DILG? May we know the reasons behind this? And why the National Security Council?
5.) Finally, Mrs. Arroyo, by virtue of your silence on this matter, you have practically let your countrymen down as you have virtually sided with the oppressor. Your comment, please?

Happier Endings to New Beginnings

2006-12-30T19:25:00.000-08:00

I already had this one figured out. For several days now, I had kept this yearender entry on my desktop, just waiting for the pictures to be up loaded... when the expected unexpected came. I accidentally erased my entry... What is it with my hate-affair with computers?! Negative charge is what I call it. Let me have no more of that in the coming new year, please...

So anyway, here I am again, now on the eve of New Year's Eve, reminiscing...

As a year comes to a close, one always looks back on the twelve months gone by.

For some, it's all about looking at their achievements, even patting themselves on the back as they do so. And then setting even more goals for the coming year.

For others, ending the year can only mean new hope for the next. They might even heave a sigh of relief that this one's over... being that this year seemed like the whole world had gone to the dogs.

As this year comes to a close, I am just completely thankful for the blessings called Noel, family and friends.

This year will end as it should because the next will begin as it should.

And with lots of prayers, I just hope it will be filled with happier endings to new beginnings.

What?! You're Leaving?!

2006-11-16T18:59:00.000-08:00

Since leaving Manila, in fact, even before leaving Manila, I was often confronted by: "What?! You're leaving?!" Then, came the follow up question: "Why?"

When I look back on those remaining days, I now realize, those who had to ask did so because they did not have a clue as to who I am. Those dear to me, those who know me didn't have to ask a single thing. They understood.

They understood that beyond the persona, the probing queries and sometimes, attacks, I am all about family. That I would and have dropped everything for family. And that I would be the last person on Earth to pass on the opportunity to live in a strange place with the person I love... to start a new family. Ours.

Cherries and Walnut

2006-11-09T19:57:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of reasons why I love Ben and Jerry's. Aside from caring for their employees, aside from lending their voice to the fight against global warming, aside from getting their dairy only from cows free of GMOs, aside from packaging their products in environment friendly pints and gallons, aside from staying true to their mission despite being acquired by the giant Unilever in 2000, it's all about Cherry Garcia. For those who have come to know the decadent yet refreshing taste of this lovely ice cream, you know what I'm talking about. For those who have no idea what I'm gushing about, you're missing half your life.

Pure cherry ice cream with bits of real cherries and fudge flakes...shared with Noel while lounging in our home on Walnut on a cold Philly night...

Ain, Stay!

2006-11-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

I would've loved to bring you here, the thought of you prancing by my side as we walk along Walnut just puts a smile on my face. But that smile quickly turns into a frown as I forsee you biting off some person's butt while we're walking on Walnut. Not a pretty sight.

For my Baby Girl

2006-11-08T13:25:00.000-08:00

This site is dedicated to my baby girl, Ain, who I miss dearly. "Ain" means priceless in Egyptian. And to me, she really is. Although she is the most stubborn African Basenji one would ever come to know, Ain is definitely the sweetest. She used to sleep with me on my bed, wake up as soon as the AC shuts down, she can smell me from a mile away and scream like a banshee as soon as I come home. I'll be home soon, baby girl... I hope you haven't forgotten how to scream for Mommy.