Here We Go (again)

I haven't told a lot of people about what I have been going through the past months. It's one of those things that I would rather keep to myself. The treatments have made me feel raw and vulnerable. I figured, telling people would make me even more fragile because it would be tantamount to putting myself out there. For all to see. Yet I was not sure if all would feel for me and be with me. I was wrong.

As I began telling my family and close friends about it, I found that there's so much love and support. That as Noel and I continue to take this challenge head on, we will never be alone.

So here I am, a day after our first doctor's appointment since leaving the East Coast. I must confess, I broke down a couple of times yesterday. I was stressed out by the thought of all the poking and probing that's going to be done to me again. The vials of blood that they're going to draw out from me again. The numerous injections and meds that I have to take in... again. Sure enough, I was welcomed back into program by the first of the many pokes and probes. Noel held my hand all throughout.

Dr. Rinaudo was very optimistic. He said we have time. He said he sees no problem. To be sure, he also told us to expect failure but that we have to be strong emotionally. I'm all for that. I'm a big girl. Except that there was something else he mentioned that's been bugging me. A possible surgery.

Now, that's new.