A Very Special Gift for Yammy

December 25. Nighttime. Daytime in Manila.

Little big Tiny and Big little growing bigger Tami/Tammy were chatting...Madhatter Xioy went online. Soon and not a second too late... Amazing Rio, Awesome Lunalu, Tiny and Xioy (and Fab Taka putting in an appearance with her hair wrapped in a towel) were chatting like crazy... through a window on the web. How bizarre. And then Captain Xiapao showed himself rather quickly and off he went. He was there long enough to show his majestic profile... Tami/Tammy/Yami/Yammy was ecstatic! Even if Evil Ain was not there...

An excerpt torn out of the pages of a souped up A. in Wonderland? Nah. Just a great day in Highlands and the Kamuning Republic.

And it was not over.

The next day... "Gifts for Yammy" came in the mail...





Thank you, doggies. You are my life.

Merry Christmas!

While most of our friends have headed back home, No and I are celebrating our first Christmas here in California at a bed and breakfast in Sonoma. Christmas dinner will be at the Sonoma Meritage. We're sure it's going to be lovely, but it still won't be the same as celebrating it with our families.

During the holiday season, my family and I always look forward to a bowl of warm fabada with a hot roll. To make us feel as if we were home, I made fabada a couple of days ago. It looked and tasted like the real thing. The exception? The real thing goes down our mouths and into our stomachs in a matter of hours. Noel and I will be eating our fabada for the next six months, I think. I cooked a whole pot. For 16 people.

Merry Christmas, everyone! May you be blessed with everything that your heart desires.

Here's what we sent to our families:

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

What the... Ouch!

After the HSG, I thought: Lord, please don't ever make me go through it again...

It's the most icky-uncomfy-cringing-focus-defying-stare-at-the-ceiling-then- close-your-eyes-tightly-and-breathe-'til-it's-over-procedure I've ever had. And I thought: I won't wish this on anyone, not even on my worst enemy...(unless the enemy is a boy. then that would make revenge even more sweeter. for where else would they poke the contrapments into?!)

But then came the saline sonogram...

Ugh, whatever dignity I had left promptly flew out the the window as soon as the clamp was taken out of the sterilized drawer.

The good thing about going through the saline sonogram is that it made me forget about the HSG.

I know, wait 'til I'm in labor, right?

Right.

Well, That's one painful experience I'm actually looking forward to.

Oh Deer

Do you believe in signs? I do.

I grew up in an environment where there was freedom of belief. And in signs, we often did and still do.

For example. Moths were seen as a sign from loved ones departed, not to be harmed, rather their presence acknowledged. Mom says, the be-winged creatures were there to reassure us that we are being watched... and protected.

I have always prayed for signs to be given to me, sometimes they appear, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they do and I choose not to see.

But the last few days, they came and I saw them. Two at a time and then yesterday just one, but she was enough. Noel and I have been apartment hunting the past weeks. As it turned out, there was one unit in the same complex we're staying at that recently became available. I loved it from the moment I entered the door. It just made me happy. Then I saw why.

Within a few minutes, as we were sizing up the unit, they came around. Through the glass door, just a few feet from the fence that separated the lanai from the hill... two deer. Welcoming us. Instantly I knew, this was the one. Instantly, I knew, they were a sign.

But as I believe in signs, I also believe in coincidences. And in the human nature of justification. So the very next day, just to be sure, I prayed: Lord, give me a sign that we made the right decision. Show me a deer. Please give me a sign.

And there they were, again. As I was driving down the hill on my way to the grocery, I saw them on the hillside, grazing. Of course, I knew we made the right decision.

A few days later, I got sick. I was so weak and my bones hurt, but there was no fever. I just wanted to get well. I rested the whole night. Just focused on getting better.

The next morning, I got up. Went to the kitchen, still feeling woozy. And through the kitchen window, I saw a mama deer. Resting.

Me: No! Come here! There's a mama deer outside!

No: (Peers out the window and puts his arm around my shoulder) That means you're going to get better soon. (Plants a kiss on my forehead and walks away)

And I did.

***

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that we live right beside what is called "Deer Valley'". So we know they're out there. But they rarely show themselves. I guess I just wanted to up my chances in seeing the signs.

What the....

We were on the road this morning as people were making the mad dash to their workplace. Translation: lots of cars on the road!

And so. As No was busy driving, I was preoccupied with my favorite past time: Observing. Translation: Watching other people and quietly judging them and making stories about them in my head. Hahaha!

Anyway, I noticed that most of the drivers had those hands-free sets glued to their ears and they were talking to someone (probably someone at the office, telling the person they're stuck in traffic; or it might be their au pair on the other line - for their last minute reminders about the kids; it might even be...their mistress or their younger man - telling them tonight might not be a good idea after all!). And I thought to myself... boy, do they look stupid!

Car after car they passed. All with stupid looking ear plugs! Some looked like it came from the set of The Terminator while others were more like regular earphones but still it made the drivers look like they had a strand of uber long hair growing out of their ears! Blech!





And then I heard it: "Hello, Shirley. I just have a couple of questions...."

It was Noel. What the.... He had one of the ear plugs on, too!

Here's the killer... While some of you might already be thinking of your similar experiences with these awful devices... Mom is thinking: "So, who's Shirley? Oh, and what were Noel's questions?"

End of story.

Two more....

Recent conversations with friends made me remember two more names...

Mina. The prequel to Minx. People i grew up with call me this.

Chelou. Only one person in the whole planet Earth calls me by this name. And I call her Chelou, too. The inspiration for this alternative: A little known brand of make up foundation that has the BEST sheer coverage ever!

Hi, my name is....

I think it was in fifth grade when Mrs. Salvador taught my class about pseudonyms. I found it intriguing that some people had alternative names. The idea exuded a certain air of adventure. Having more than one name also meant having more than one side to a person. And to me, it seemed like a romantic notion that a person can be known by a name other than his own. I guess it was this romanticism that led me to unwittingly collect my very own pseudonyms through the years.

Anna Karmina Balderrama Constantino. I was baptized with this name. I'm not too sure about where the "Anna" came from but I do know that "Karmina" was chosen so they could call me "Minh" (this, we'll get to later on). Obviously, "Balderrrama" came from Mom - Lourdes Alampay Balderrama - daughter of Angelina Alampay and Alfredo Balderrama. "Constantino" from Pop - son of Letizia Roxas and Renato Constantino.

Karmina. This is me. My real name. The first name that comes to mind when you think of me. That is, of course, depending on which period in my life you've met me. The name from which all others will come from.

Minh. My family's name for me. The root name of "Karmina". Before Ho Chi Minh came to be known as city in Vietnam, the name was a revolutionary. He led the Viet Minh independence movement from 1941 onward, establishing the communist-governed Democratic Republic of Vietnam in 1945 and defeating the French Union 9 years later. Ho then led the North Vietnamese in the Vietnam War until his death; six years after, the war ended with a North Vietnamese victory, and Vietnamese unification followed. The former capital of South Vietnam, Saigon, was renamed Ho Chi Minh City in his honor. And in his honor, too, I was named after him.

Minx. Ah, the name marked by the 80's, when everyone wanted an "x' or "z" in their names. I thought it was hip (translation many years later: baduy). Apparently, my friends thought it was cool, too. Cool enough to be my high school nick. Only a handful call me this name now. And I must say, those who do are my friends for life.

Ina. Bet you didn't know about this one. Well, I was a freshman in UP and I met these two girls - Erika and Michelle. We decided we'll be friends. We also decided to change our names. We figured, what a way to start college, right? Completely not be ourselves! Hahaha. Anyway, so Michelle became Mitch (yes, I know, how original) Erika became Ricky... And I became Ina. And that was that. The whole charade lasted for about a year, I think, and as soon as it ended, I lost touch with Erika and Michelle.

Tami/Yammi. The most special of all. Because this name is not so much about me as it is about the special little people who call me "Tami/Yammi". Before my first ever niece, Ia, was born, I prevailed upon my siblings to conduct an experiment. I said: Whoever said it has to be "Tito" or "Tita"? Let's change our names! I guess I was still reeling from the loss of "Ina" that I needed another name to take her place. And so we did. Maoi became Tama (short for Tita Maoi), Ninel became Tiny (short for Tita Niney), Taka for Kala (you get the drift...), I became Tami (TiTA MInh), and Red became Xioy (because he liked the sound of it). "Yammi" came about a few years later when my nephew Rio was born. I had an early morning show then and that meant starting my day way too early and ending it at about noon. My Big Bro and Taka were off at work and they always left Rio with us. And so, I became his companion (translation: Yaya). Thus the alternative to Tami - Yammi.

Karmina Constantino. The professional name. The screen name. I use it in intros and extros. It's the name I WANT to use when I meet a person for the first time. That is why if the new acquaintance is being introduced to me by someone who knows me by another pseudonym, then that can lead to a very awkward moment for me. Because I really don't want other people to know that I am Yami or Minh or KC (we'll get to this in a bit) right away. So I guess you can call KARMINA CONSTANTINO as my buffer name. It's the name I use to keep new "friends" at bay until I'm ready to let them in.
.
KC. The year was 1996. While I was a newbie in the broadcast industry, my Pop, RC, was wrapping up (or so he thought) his career as a political activist. He was always in the news (fast forward to GMA's illegitimate reign - RC is now back in business because of the little woman's brazen disregard of the people's rights and intelligence). So it started out as a joke: "Si KC na anak ni RC." And then it stuck because eventually my colleagues just found my name too long. So from three syllables, they chopped it down to two: K. C.

Kayce. Because, believe it or not, some find that two syllables were still one syllable too many.

Karmina Constantino-Torres. January 3, 2006. I married Noel Torres and officially became Mrs. Karmina Constantino-Torres. Officially, yes. Legally, not so much. See, I still sign official documents with "KARMINA CONSTANTINO". My passport still carries that name, my license, too. My bank accounts are still under my buffer name. I just find that changing my name in all these documents would prove to be too much of a hassle. Good thing No agrees. So for all intents and purposes, this has been me since January of '06.

KC Torres. Sounds like a different person, doesn't it? I am still getting used to it and I think you are, too. New found friends in Philadelphia (where we stayed for a year and a half after getting hitched) knows me by this name and this name alone. I find refuge in this name. It served/serves me well after "disappearing" when I decided to leave Manila. This one is my "escape" name. It allows me to be me... without the expectations from my on screen persona.

Anna Torres. Nothing can be farther from the truth. This is entirely my creation. I figured, since I go by so many names, why not add one more. And off I played. So one day, after dropping some clothes off at the cleaners, I was asked by Anar (the shop's owner) what my name was so she can fill out the receipt. And so I said: Anna Torres. And so she wrote: Anna Torres. That same day, I told No all about it. He laughed at the story and shook his head saying: You're silly.

I am. And I love it.

So, I want to know... who am I to you? And why?